2-20

     Well you know we’ve really gotten sick of watching this show when we have to D.V.R. it because we decide to stay at Kosta’s and celebrate President’s Day rather than come home and watch it, but we are no quitters so we will finish what we started no matter how bad it gets and I for one still want our own reality show, but I think maybe all we can learn from this one is bad spray tans and lots of tears… and while my allergies prevent me from spray tanning I do plenty of fake baking in the tanning bed and I have really mastered fake tears and after driving around in an un-inspected vehicle for months I’m pretty sure that Danielle must have too. I was after all a theatre major for one semester. If I had paid more attention to this show I’d have more to say about the show and less useless banter…
     But here’s what I do know about the show… Tonight’s episode took place in the remaining girl’s hometowns. All the girls called Ben their “boyfriend”. Sorry ladies, but a man who’s got 5 other women is not your “boyfriend”! A couple of the women left tonight seem really sweet and cute, which is why I have officially decided that I actually hope Ben does pick Courtney because he’s an a-hole and they deserve each other. He doesn’t deserve K.C. or Lindsey!
     The first date was at Lindsey’s parent’s home. Lindsey’s family seems pretty well to do themselves! What does she want with BEN? His only redeeming quality is his money! This is not the home of a middle class family! Lindsey’s family seemed a little skeptical, but they were very nice to Ben! Of course Ben said he was falling in love wither he just like he says about every girl every week.
     Kacie B.’s family was not impressed with Ben. I don’t blame them. I can only imagine how my dad would feel if he was informed I was competing with other women to marry some rich guy… Any good parent would not want this for their daughter! Kacie is only 24! So I think her family is even more protective than the other girls who are all considerably older and have more life experience than her.
     Nicky who’s the only contestand who has been divorced also had divorced parents, but still seemed to get along well. Nicky’s parents were very nice to Ben. Nicky told Ben she was in love with him, but he didn’t say it back, but he does always reiterate that he is “falling in love” with everyone.
     The final date was with crazy Courtney with her shiny forehead (who I still think is a planted actress not a real contestant) and in classic crazy Courtney fashion she kepy talking baby talk and then she staged this weird fake wedding where she used vows from Sex in the City and was weird enough to play right along with this odd little ritual. Per usual she had a drink in her hand the whole time. However, Courtney’s family seemed surprisingly normal.
     Kacie B. who we had predicted to be a winner got sent home tonight. Possibly due to the way her family reacted to Ben, but who can blame them…
   
   
   

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

   
     

2/6

Our friend Shane joined us again tonight and if watching the Bachelor with us (yet again) didn’t take away his man card picking up “feminine products” on his way over probably did.

     This week’s show is in Panama City. Ben started the show off by saying “There are some “WOMEN” (Yes folks that was multiple) here that I could spend the rest of my life with.” Wouldn’t you feel special and honored to be one of many women that he could spend the rest of his life with? I want to shake these women!

     Kacie.B. got the first one on one date tonight. Once again the date started off with being whisked away in a helicopter. Kacie B. looked crazy hot in her bikini, but shortly after typing that I felt guilty, because she told Ben she used to have an eating disorder. Kacie is still our favorite. We’re still predicting her as the “winner” if you want to call marrying a rich womanizing pig that you barely know “winning” that is.

     Courtney got topless on the group date (in front of children-again) and Ben was in a loin cloth. Ben said he “appreciated” that Courtney was topless. Yeah that’s classy. Who doesn’t want their future wife to be naked on national television? They went to some remote village in Panama and dressed up like the people lived there and danced. This was my least favorite group date so far.

     Tonight there’s a 2 on 1 date where one of the two girls will have to go home. The 2 on 1 date was Salsa dancing with Rachel and Blakely. It was painful and awkward to watch. Rachel got the rose. Ben gave Blakely the same spiel he gave the last girl he sent home after a date (so heartfelt).

     Courtney did a lot of mouthing off and trash talking again tonight. Ben interrupted the drama to give Lindsey a rose.

     Chris Harrison showed up and asked Kacie.S.to step outside, where told her that the show had been contacted and had informed that she had a boyfriend at home. She claimed she was broken up with the guy and that he was her X-boyfriend, but admitted that she still had feelings for him and said she broke up with him because he didn‘t ever want to get married and it was so important to her. She had hoped coming on the show would help her get over him. Chris made her tell Ben. Ben was kind of condescending jerk when she told him and told her to go home. He was so angry that she had feelings for her X yet he told ALL SEVEN women on the show that he feelings for them tonight… Again I don’t see how this guy is a prize.

    The Jimmy Kimmel preview was more amusing than the show. It was just Ben and Jimmy sitting on a couch and Jimmy goes, “Hey, remember when you got rejected by Ashley? (Ben nodded sadly) That was awkward, huh?”

    Jamie was SUPER awkward at the cocktail party! Courtney, Rachel and Emily got roses at the Ceremony.

Only a week late

1/30.12

Tonight’s show was in Puerto Rico.

Tonight we made Jon (my boyfriend) watch the show…Ok…He pretty much just sat there and played words with friends and looked at sports stuff on his i-phone, but he was there. Shane keeps claiming that he has hockey games and will come soon, but we’re not sure if that’s really true.

Nicky got the first date tonight. There was a helicopter ride…again and then it poured so they had to go buy dry clothing. Nicky told Ben a sob story about her divorce and he felt bad and gave her a rose.

The group date was a game of slutty softball complete with booty shorts, pink bras, and see through shits. One girl even managed to make her outfit even skimpier by ting her see through shirt in a knot at the bottom. Creativity points I guess? You gotta stand out! This is the first group date where the girls wore clothing instead of bikinis. Of course there was added pool footage and skinny dipping later on in the show. They picked teams. I had flashbacks from the 4^th grade. Ben said it was a “tough loss and a hard fought game” Yeah Ben, it was just like the super bowl! The girls who lost cried like they HAD just lost the super bowl. I’ll give him that. The girls who won the game got to go on yet another helicopter date. The rest of the girls had to go back to the hotel.

Sabrina made it half way through the show (AGAIN). Have I mentioned that she is the one who makes me watch this terrible show? However, when I pointed that out she told me that she was and I quote “slowly making me a local celebrity”! Gee, thanks!

I’m not even sure who this Snookie looking girl is who got the second one on one date. Elise? I don’t know where she’s been the whole season? They went on a yacht date. She said she missed her best friend’s wedding to be on this show. Ahhh Are you that desperate to find a man or that bad of a friend? See there’s a good reason to watch this crap, it’s so you can feel better about yourself! They dove into the water off the side of the yacht and Jon said he hoped they got eaten by a shark and then this would be worth watching. I have to agree. How does this girl talk like she’s from Michigan, dress like she’s from Jersey, and claim that she’s from Florida? Ben did not give her a rose. America loves watching people get dumped… For even more embarrassment she asked what she did wrong and sobbed…

Don’t these women realize it would be half as much work for them to just go on www.sugardaddy.com? Are rich guys THIS hard to come by? Courtney and Ben went skinny dipping this week to prove my point that this guy is a total jerk rich or not…

Jennifer (the red head) got sent home this week which makes us a little sad because we liked her.

Next week they are going to Panama City!

 

3 Blondes for the first hour ... 2 for the second.

So after dinner we were watching Jeopardy waiting for The Bachelor to come on and Danielle says, “How do these people on like Jeopardy like know the answers to these like questions?” But then Sabrina topped it off by trying to Quote Danielle on Facebook to make fun of her and in the process looked at me dead serious and asked, “How to spell Jeopardy?”… It’s the blonde leading the blonde around here some days…

This week's show was in Utah. Rachel got the first one on one date tonight. She said “My last relationship broke up with me because of my communication issues.” ummm you think? No her last “boyfriend” her last “relationship”. They went on a scenic helicopter ride followed by a canoe ride. All the other girls were really upset/jealous/sad. But don’t worry, Monica comforted them! (If you read previous blogs you know my theory on that.) Ben of course said that he loved how things were going with Rachel and that she was really beautiful just like he’s said about every other girl he’s been on a date with - shocking! However, the conversation was a bit lacking…She rambled…A LOT…and there were some awkward pauses…and Ben being the genius he is considered that to be her opening up to him and gave her a rose.

The other girls felt like the group date tonight would open Ben’s eyes to how mean Courtney is when he’s not around. The group date was a fishing trip.  ALL the girls talked about the great connections they had with Ben and Courtney was the only one who caught a fish.

Oh and a Honda commercial talked about leap lists! Apparently we should have known what that meant last week!

Shane missed out on the Bachelor tonight and claimed he was really bummed because his hockey game got moved. In his absence we’ve decided to sign him up for next season’s Bachelor. They keep asking for applicants on the commercial breaks and I have A.D.H.D. so…

Samantha pretty much begged Ben for a one on one date and he told her that she’d been too emotional and wasn’t taking the show seriously… and then Ben more or less told her to go home. There were other women who hadn’t been on any dates let alone one on one dates…All the other girls were really sad accept of course for Courtney who was super happy that other people were sad.

Jennifer (the red head) got the second date. They did some hiking and repelled into a crater in a mountain. Of course she needed to be in her bikini for this… I mean who wears clothes when they are repelling? They had a private Clay Walker concert. Honestly THESE DATES would be fun with your worst enemy! Maybe money really can’t buy love, but this guy is trying his best and making it look easy.

We are predicting Kacie B. to win the show even though she wore a terrible sweater dress/smock thing tonight (If you really consider that a “win” that is). Speaking of winning, Courtney kept saying “winning” the whole episode! It made us want to punch her in the face.

Immediately after reassuring Kacie B. of how great she was and their amazing connection Ben immediately made out with Courtney (who has a weird mouth-too much Botox maybe?). Courtney got one of the first roses, yet again. The other girls were all disgusted. If this guy is this much of a jerk that he is positive that he wants to give the meanest, most rotten girl on the show one of the first roses EVERY week why would the other girls even want him anymore?! One girl even called him out on this, but he didn‘t care at all. He dismissed her and was rude. Why are these women fighting over THIS guy? Oh that’s right he’s filthy rich… Oh and he was good enough to inform everyone that “relationships were all about trust.” LOL Thanks for the advice Ben. 

It looks like the Bachelor is going to be on Jimmy Kimmel live tonight, but I think that’s way past our bedtimes considering Sabrina has already fallen asleep. I will look it up on YouTube tomorrow.

The more we watch this show the more we dislike Ben, but we did notice the $7,000. Watch he was wearing…sadly, Monica got sent home sobbing…we didn’t expect her to be so upset! She didn’t seem that attached to Ben. I’m sure it’s more because she will miss the other girls so much.

Next week’s show will be in Puerto Rico.

TWO BLONDES AND A BOY ...

1-16

Tonight our friend Shane filled in for D.D. because she had to stay at work late. His man card was revoked after he posted that on Facebook. I guess we’ll have to call him next time we need something heavy lifted so he can try to earn it back. He almost backed out on us when he realized the show was 2 hours long, but he made it through.

Ben had a chat with his sister at the beginning of the show who kinda looks like a Kardashian (the one who used to be fat).

Emily got the first date tonight. She looks like Kendra from girls next door and she actually seems pretty nice.

This guy really isn’t that great looking to have all these girls fighting over him… button up your shirt, buddy! We also think he may need a nose job. We’re taking back the cuteness points we gave him last week for being well dressed and reminiscent of my childhood (because he looked like the kid from Boy Meets World).

There was a lot of talk of “leap lists“. I had no clue what that meant until tonight. Apparently rather than a “things to do before you die list” it’s more of a “things to do before doing something big like marriage or having a child list”.

The group date was skiing…in San Francisco. We don’t understand why the girls had to take off their clothing to ski??? These bitches wouldn’t make it a day in Maine in the winter. This may have been the only part of the show that Shane actually enjoyed. Let’s drop these girls off in like Millinocket or somewhere in February with these outfits and see who lives the longest… That would be some good T.V.

Britney is kinda ugly (butterface), but she seems nice. She got picked for a date, but she said she was confused and not as excited as the other girls for her one on one date. Maybe because you are half way normal Britney! Or maybe you have an ounce of self respect and it feels odd to you to compete for some guy who’s making out with all these other women all the time… Of course this also means you’re probably not reality show material. Britney realized how degrading and disgusting that competing for one man with 25 other women on national T.V. was and decided to go home…Or so we thought, until she said that this was “the hardest decision of her life” Really???? Really, Britney? THIS is the hardest decision of your life? 

Lindsey, who got the first impression rose, finally had a one on one date tonight. She said she “didn’t normally kiss boys on the first date” and Ben said the kiss “was unexpected” Wow…note to self ladies = when we start working on our own reality show we’re going to have to start doing a lot more lying…add that to the list with orange tans and crying. She claimed that her year and a half relationship ended with a text that said “welcome to Dumpsville - population you! Either A. That didn’t happen or B. Lindsey did something really terrible to this guy and deserved that. It didn’t just happen out of the blue. The bachelor said he was really attracted to her. Yeah, he says that about ALL of them! He is yet to say anything negative about ANY of them.

I wish Shane and Sabrina would shut up about real relationships while I’m trying to blog about the fake ones on T.V. It’s fine Gracie (the dog) and I are taking care of this…

Sabrina and I talked about the evolution of my nickname. She used to call me “J.W.” (my initials) but somewhere along the line I became not worthy of 3 syllables and it was shortened to “j-dub” (sigh)… Just in case you were wondering when you hear her call me that on the radio.

Ben- “I’m starting to have relationships with these women” then the red head bragged about how he told her she was the best kisser. Really? “I’m making out with everyone, but don’t worry, sweetheart you’re the best.” This is why none of the “winners” of these shows are actually still legally married. In All the seasons of these shows there are only 2 couples who are still actually still legally married.

They brought back a girl from “Brad’s season”. She’s a Funeral Director. Her name was Shawntell. I guess they met at some Bachelor function? Everyone is a little confused how they know each other and why she‘s on the show. The other girl’s trash talked her for like 15 minutes which was terribly boring… How did I get roped into watching this? Do you people realize that the Bruins are on right now?

Shane talked to the T.V. at one point so we know he’s really getting into this. What we don’t know however is why when any of us talk to the Bachelor WHY we refer to him as “buddy”. His name is Ben. It’s one syllable and yet I think it’s because we can’t take him seriously enough to call him by a normal name.

Sabrina used her Napoleon Dynamite voice to tell us her “tatts hurt real bad” (she got them touched up today). We told her to ask the school nurse for some Neosporin and moved on. I hate this show and yet I am the only one who can focus on this nonsense tonight…

Courtney made a fool of herself at the rose ceremony. Crying and calling Shawntell “whats her butt” and yet she moves on to the next episode…

Ben tried to make a speech before giving out the last rose and one of these crazy bitches pretended to pass out. This is quality reality show material! Ladies, let’s take notes here! Neither the new girl nor the passing out girl got a rose tonight. Ben actually didn’t give anyone the last rose so there is actually 2 less women moving on to next week than normal because one left on her own and Ben gave out one less rose than usual.

We’d like to tell you what to look forward to next week, but sadly we lost our next week’s recap of the show because my recording of Pawn Stars started. For the record Pawn Stars is a quality reality show where nobody ever cries or gets an orange spray tan! They had a guitar signed by Crosby, Stills and Nash and they are hiring a new employee this week! Come on!!!

1/9/12

The show began with a scene of Ben skinny dipping with one of the girls. DD got so excited that she flailed her hands up in the air and spilled her Diet Sierra Mist everywhere.

Sab: I totally love Ben in his casual, army green button-up shirt. The laid back Sonoma style works for him.

Kacie B got the first date card. She seems like the only one that is down to earth. Obviously the other girls are jealous and call her annoying. We don’t think she is annoying but her laugh is for sure. JW also is not okay with the face that she is dressed in shorts and he is wearing a sports coat. DD was upset about the strategic placement of the baton in the window of the candy shop. Because obviously a candy shop would sell batons. They obviously really like each other though, he felt comfortable enough to talk about his father with her, gave her a rose so she knows she is moving forward and took her to the theatre to watch home movies of them when they were little.

DD: If this was an actual tv show I’d be like “awwwww” they are cute together. But I know that he’s gonna go mess around with some other girl in the pool later.

Group date number one:

Kids made the girls act like fools in front of Ben. They thought the girls were idiots. “Don’t worry, we’re only kids!” Kids say the darndest things… “the one with the…uh…I wasn’t a fan of her.”

The naked sheep moment was incredibly inappropriate as was the gingerbread girl’s outfit! Hello - There are children present!


Not only does he like desperate girls, apparently he likes middle schoolers too. Isn’t that illegal? This is whats wrong with America today.

We don’t think they’re expecting anything professional…what do you think they have in those SOLO cups?(Toby Keith would be proud)



JW says remember Boy Meets World? Doesn’t Ben look like Rider Strong?

Of course the cocktail waitress makes out with Ben in the pool. We'd be shocked if any of these girls stay with him after the show.

Blakely and Ben in the pool was a little much. Who does she think she is? Blakely is now fakely! There are more respectable ways to get a mans attention than being so sleezy. She makes us sick. (Stage 5 clinger anyone?) We can’t believe that Ben gave her the stinkin’ rose. UGH!!!! She is sooooo fake. He will find out soon enough that she’s not the one for him.

Kacie and the Jennifer (The Red Head) get the props tonight. Way to keep in classy, ladies.

Our Bachelor clearly has a thing for brunettes which forces him to lose some brownie points with these three blonde bloggers!


Monica is a lesbian-not a bad angle! I mean when one of these hot girls is feeling rejected she can swoop in with “I totally would of given you a rose! Wanna run away with me?”


We’re really disappointed that the “Blogger”, Jenna is such a weirdo since she initially inspired us to become bloggers ourselves, but this girl is a nut case that or she really knows how to earn her 15 minutes of fame. (and what's with her face? The weird tics?)

Before OUR reality show airs we’re going to have start practicing crying on command (after we get some bad ass spray tans that is!).

HOLY CRAP! We almost missed the end of the show because JW had American Pickers set to record! Thanks to DD for being quick with the remote. Phew ... that was a close one.

Till next week...

The First Show

Three blondes living under the same roof can be a bit of a challenge. Full-time jobs, different habits and hobbies, relationships, other friends and interests. So, Monday night "Roomie Night" was created to promote emotional well-being.

1/2/12 - First night

Sabrina pitched the idea that they start watching "The Bachelor" because she saw an ad for it earlier that day. What better way to spend a Monday evening with the girls than sitting in front of the tv criticizing a large group of fancy orange bitches? "Maybe we can all share a tampon some day" Yea- that's an actual quote from the show! This show is like a bad car accident...you can't look away, but its terribly painful to watch. Another inspiring moment was when one of the girls, Jenna, who is just a total train-wreck (we mean that in the nicest way possible (We know and love a lot of train-wrecks) who describes her profession as "blogger". So we thought hey, we're witty - we can do that! So instead of instantly changing our Facebook professions to "blogger" (our natural first instinct) we decided to back it up first...and here we are!

Some might say that this was a huge waste of two hours, but the girls disagree. D.D. and Jen were a little afraid...terrified actually, but after five minutes everything changed. Danielle was laughing so hard she was crying (possibly snorting) and Jen has a "show"! (Jen is not a T.V. person and on the rare occasion the other girls allow her to touch the remote she'd force us to watch hours of shows like Pawn Stars and Pickers on the History Channel).

Stay tuned....they're eventually going to make a sitcom out of us! D.D. has already decided to try out for the next season of the Bachelor. She'll start her training with an extreme spray tan!